anchor tongue

i dont know why it hadn’t occured to me earlier to google “scared to get an adult job” but now i am crying and reading lots of other peoples experiences of fear and lethargy and general ‘stuck-ness’.

theres a job at my old high school for a full time english teacher which i could walk to, but i didn’t even find out about it, someone sent me the link, and i dont know whether to apply and the thought of sitting any kind of interview just puts me off completely.

hellllllllloo i was going to keep this for thursday but ill start writing it now cos im a bit drunk - its tom and my 4 year anniversary this month? ? ? (its vague, there were key dates… ) today for instance the key event was that he was in christchurch cleaning up after the earthquake and i was in dunedin thinking about how he made me feel and i was ending things with this other bloke i’d been seeing because i had this inkling that something serious was about to happen.. 

and on thursday it will be 4 years since i knew he was VERY cool, he invited me to his birthday party and he put on t-pain and did this crazy dance and had these cool sneakers and he was a rail for real (i found out he was getting by on a packet of noodles every TWO days.. god) and he had a drunken pash with his bloke friend, and i put on stephen malkmus and he ran out and lost the plot, and his girlfriend before me was there and i thought ‘maybe this is bad timing’ and so i said ‘i might leave’ and he said no you should stay and winked at me and it was the best wink  -  the wink that launched one thousand sleepovers  

i self-cared myself the best spiciest soup last night and it is giving with the leftovers yamyamyam